My father died today.
His body had been crashing for some time. He was just released yesterday from the hospital and was placed in nursing care. He had his breakfast and went to sit in a chair and he slipped away. Such a quiet exit for such a big man.
By the standards of history he was an old man. When I watch home movies of him in his youth he is like a God. Don Draper with the black shiny hair and the dark framed glasses of the sixties. He was lean, handsome and seemingly without insecurity. Some years ago he lost his powerful voice and hearing. He did not see well and was often distressed by physical pain.
My mysterious child/parent relationship has been fraught with all the colors of the emotional pallet. However, of this I am sure: my Father would have surrendered anything for me. There is no amount of money, no extra days of life, any dream or wish or temptation that would have caused him to waver in his desire for my happiness and well-being. I have no uncertainty regarding his love and pride in my accomplishments and I wish that all children could experience the unreserved love of a parent. It is my most precious possession.May the angels lead him into paradise~ And may perpetual light shine upon him~